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    The first major change during marriage occurs when the wife becomes pregnant. This may be premeditated and "planned." Or it may occur "just out of the blue." The latter was the usual way in the pre-Pill era when effective methods of family planning (the euphonious term for birth control) were not available. The methods used up until the late 1950s were crude, clumsy and often ineffective.
    But today, with modern contraceptive facilities readily available at modest cost, many couples deliberately plan when their babies will come, and how many. There are good and bad points about the system, but let's accept the fact that it is a way of modern life in the Western world.
    Sometimes, in spite of careful planning, the baby gets on the assembly line earlier than expected. Sometimes through illness (vomiting, diarrhoea, other medication) the Pill becomes ineffective, and pregnancy ensues.
    In any case, whether planned or not, let's assume that pregnancy has taken place. If it comes within the general planning of the couple, this is often most satisfactory. If it comes a year or two ' 'before schedule,'' this often upsets the couple who are trying, often, to get financial security. But nonetheless, baby is usually welcome when he/she puts in an appearance, and in any event it starts to make life more meaningful.
    Wives who elect to work can often continue with their normal routines during the early months of pregnancy with little inconvenience. In fact, some can work up until the last couple of months. I feel that common sense should prevail. Be guided by the way you feel, and follow your obstetrician's advice. There is little point in working up until the last minute merely because it will yield a few extra dollars when it may jeopardize your health or baby's health and general welfare. It simply is not worth it. Often pregnancy produces severe fatigue, and addi­tional rest is frequently welcomed. This may be quite impossible when trying to run a home as well as a job.
    Thoughtful husbands will realize that the baby—either coming, or actually born—is a two-way deal, and will come to the help of their wives. Often lending a hand with the household chores and the general running of the home at this   time   is   more   necessary   than   ever, particularly when both partners are working.
    If there are other children already in the family circle, it is a good idea to tell them as early as possible that a new arrival is soon due. This offers an excellent time to instruct older children in the "facts of life." Indeed, it is the best possible situation.
    Take them into your confidence and tell them as much as you feel they may understand. Buy the books, "Everything a Teenage Girl Should Know" and "Everything a Teenage Boy Should Know''. These have many illustrations and pictures that can be shown to growing children, even though they may be well under the adolescent years. If they can see in pictures what is happening to mummy's inside, then actually see and feel from the outside, it will reinforce the message. Their little subconscious minds often absorb an amazing amount of detail which stays there for ever. This can make your task of telling them all the things they should know later on, so much easier. Also, if the older ones get the message, they will often, in turn, educate the younger members of the family.
    With babies, the biggest problem as far as the second and third (or fourth or fifth if you are brave enough) is with baby number one. Often the first one rightfully assumes a pre-eminent position. Suddenly he/she is relegated to second place. It can take quite a bit of readjusting. So, play it cool. Prepare number one well in advance for what is in store. Making a big thing out of the fact that number two is to be "his baby," "his playmate," "his responsibility" and so on, can put him in a position of enthusiastic anticipation, rather than in a position of uncertainty and competition. Let him feel mummy's abdomen, and let him feel baby moving around (which always happens in the latter months). It is a wise move and will make life easier and happier for everyone when the arrival of number two occurs.
    The wife should stick to the advice offered by the doctor. Much information on pregnancy is offered in the next section of this book. It is worth spending time reading this when the time comes, or even well beforehand so you will know what to expect.
    The husband should do his best to co-operate so as to make life as smooth as possible for his wife and other children, if they are already present.
    The arrival of a baby is always an exciting time. It really marks the start of a new era. The family circle is starting to take shape, materially and practically. There is nothing like a new life to add zest to living! It will also add a few sleepless nights and furrowed brows, but that is all part of the business of raising a family.
    In my opinion, spoiling baby number one is almost as inevitable as morning following night. Parents often allow their enthusiasm to override their common sense with their new baby. It frequently becomes a time-consuming, all-engrossing affair, mentally, physically and emotionally. There is nothing quite like the pride of parenthood, particularly with the novelty оf the first baby.